It’s a fear of death by shame,
of giving in to voices
that have long tried to bury me.
I do it because not reaching the high
means feeding the low.
Because if I don’t stay in motion
the sucking of sludge begins to sound
Because I miss you means I need you
and I need you means I probably
can’t have you;
because I have a big mouth
and I’ve always known my place;
because sleeping at night means giving in
and sleeping while the sun shines
is a choice.
Because I suspend everything
until I hear from you.
I wait, and I pace.
Emma’s unofficial motto has long been “PUBLICATION OR BUST!” Jack Move is her fifth from-scratch magazine. A writer and creative gun-for-hire, she’s had a hand in all types of media, at every step in the process. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and son. Follow her on Twitter (@ealvarezgibson) and find out more at www.emmaalvarezgibson.com.